When my daughter was born I told her the same 7 affirmations everyday (and still do today). Then when my son came along I continued to tell him the same phrases. As I wrote these affirmations as a letter to my daughter, now that my son is 1, I figured it was time to write a letter to my son too.
Even though they each hear the same 7 affirmations, the message behind each one is different for my daughter than it is for my son. They will both have different experiences, related to money and otherwise, because of the world they are growing up in.
A Letter to My Son – From Mom
Ever since you were born, I have repeated the same phrase to you every day of your life. You are safe, loved, strong, independent, resilient, brave, and kind. These are the character traits that your dad and I hope you grow up with.
You are Safe
In some ways you have won the genetic lottery being born into our family. We live in a safe country. And your dad and I have been privileged to be able to financially take care of ourselves, you and your sister.
Money may not be able to bring you happiness (and maybe it can), but it can bring you safety. Appreciate this safety because it’s not universal.
One day, I hope that you grow up to help others feel as safe as you are. This could be on a local or global scale, or ensuring the safety of your future family.
You are Loved
If there is but one message I hope to impart on you throughout your life, it is that you know that you are loved. You are so incredibly loved and I am grateful everyday to be your mom.
Love is not something that runs out as you share it. Share your love with others. Tell your loved ones you love them. But don’t give your love to those who are undeserving.
You are Strong
Your dad would say that you are physically strong like him. But your strength is more than physical.Your strength will carry you to do great things (whatever those things may be).
Just be sure to never use your strength to hurt others. Use it to help uplift others, to be an advocate, and an ally.
You are Independent
One of our household values is independence. It may not mean a lot to you right now, but it will one day.
We are working hard to one day achieve financial independence to have more control over our time. If this is something that eventually becomes important to you too, I truly hope you achieve it.
Remember that money and independence can go hand in hand. Use your money for your independence so that you never have to rely on someone else.
You are Resilient
Life is not going to be easy. There will be days when you feel knocked down and like you don’t want to get up. But remember you are resilient. You can get back up even if it doesn’t feel like that sometimes.
Future proofing your finances, and having an emergency fund help with your financial resilience. Living below your means makes it easier to be resilient. These are 2 money lessons that you will hear early and often from me and your dad.
You are Brave
Take risks, be uncomfortable, do things that scare you (and me) a little. Because know that deep down you are brave. Growth doesn’t come from a place of comfort.
And once again, it is much easier to take risks when your financial house is in order.
When it comes to investing, know that in your youth you have time on your side. Don’t be too conservative leaving earnings on the table. When time is on your side you can afford to take more risks with your portfolio.
But know that there is a difference between being brave and taking risks and being stupid by taking unnessecary risks. Sometimes, if something seems too good to be true, chances are it is.
Invest your portfolio in all equities when you’re young, just stay away from penny stocks and anything else you don’t understand.
You are Kind
My hope is that you grow up to be kind. Sometimes we think about being nice, but being nice can sometimes lead to you being a doormat.
Being kind helps you think of others while still setting your own boundaries. This difference is important.
Be kind with your time and money too. Give generously, whatever that means to you.
And so, in closing my sweetness, my hope is that you continue to grow up with these messages. We will have been successful parents if as a young man, you know all of these things to be true.
That being said, we are not perfect. We are still learning how to be parents and will make mistakes along the way. And there will probably be days when you love us but don’t like us very much. But just know that underneath every one of our decisions is a tremendous amount of love and pride in you.
We waited for you and you have turned out better than I could have ever imagined.
Always remember that you are safe, loved, strong, independent, resilient, brave, and kind.
Studies show that students who said positive affirmations to themselves before writing a test, perform better on the test than students who did not take a few minutes to focus on positive values.
It’s no secret that positive (and negative) self talk can have a direct impact on our mood and therefore behaviour.
I also think that maybe there is a bit of an osmosis effect. If my children hear the same thing day after day, hopefully as they grow up they believe it.
I also hope these affirmations act as a shield to protect them against all of the negative words in the world. A way that they can take a little of me wherever they go as they grow up. Maybe that’s too much to hope for. And maybe it will (or will not) come true. Only time will tell and I figure it can’t hurt.
How to Write a Heartfelt Letter to Your Son?
What you choose to write will depend on the age of your little one and whether he will be reading it immediately or not.
I always suggest handwriting the letter as it is a dying art and very heartfelt.
You may choose to write about lessons you hope he learns, or how he makes you feel. Maybe you want to include things that you love about him or how proud you are to be in his life.
And a thoughtful letter is not just meaningful for sons, you can write a letter to your daughter too.
Hopefully, my letter inspires you to write a letter to a loved one in your life. With everything going on in the world right now, we could all use more heartfelt words of love.
This is a letter I wrote to my son so all of the statements are phrased as “you are.” As he grows up my hope is that he would internalize these affirmations as “I am.”
Who knows, maybe in 10 years none of this will have made a difference. And maybe it will. Either way, it can’t hurt.
Whenever I have received a letter from a loved one I have always greatly appreciated it. So, hopefully this letter to my son inspires you. I encourage you to take some time in the next week to write a letter to someone in your life. Bonus points if you handwrite it.